Quotes I just remembered were on my FB profile

"Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it."
"No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short."
The Wee Free Men

"The trouble with witches is that they'll never run away from things they really hate.
And the trouble with small furry animals in the corner is that, just occasionally, one of them's a mongoose"
Witches Abroad

" 'Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things. Well-known fact,' said Granny"
Wyrd Sisters

"You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise, I mean all you can give them is a meaningful look" Small Gods

"The labyrinth of Ephebe is ancient and full of one hundred and one amazing things you can do with hidden springs, razor-sharp knives and falling rocks"
Small Gods

"Racism is not a problem on the Discworld, because - what with the trolls and dwarves and so on - specieism is more interesting. Black and white live in harmony and gang up on green"
Witches Abroad

"The Duke had a mind that ticked like a clock, and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo"
Wyrd Sisters

"Poets have tried to describe Ankh-Morpork. They have failed. Perhaps its the sheer zestful vitality of the place, or maybe its just that a city with a million inhabitants and no sewers is rather robust for poets, who prefer daffodils and no wonder"
Mort

"Destiny is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner or later"
Lemony Snicket

"If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, especially if that thing is cats"
Lemony Snicket

"It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is wrong is the one proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right. Right?"
Lemony Snicket

"Mummy snores like a monster, it goes RAWR"
little kid on tv show The Doctors